Fears, we all have them, wether we admit it to ourselves or not. It might appear silly to you, when someone is frightened of something that to you seems easy. You need only take a moment though, to envision your own fears, and you can’t help but begin to relate.
Fears of hight, storms, falling, animals, flying, swimming, or even being alone …. the fears are as individual as we are. We aren’t even restricted to only one. One fear could even intensify another one. My goodness, what a tangled web we find ourselves in.
Avoidance at all cost, is a common remedy. That might work for a time, however sooner or later, despite our best efforts, we find ourselves face to face with one of our fears. Now what!!!!
Do we run, seek professional help, ignore it and hope it goes away, or face the fear. What was that last one???? Face it, I would rather die. Well no, not really, but it will probably kill me, right? There we go again our minds race, the heart is clearly pounding, to the point that we swear it can be heard miles away. The sweat begins and the knees shake, making us barely able to keep ourselves from falling into a heap. Yes, there is much work ahead, if we are to be victorious.
There is a big difference between being nervous and being scared. On my , there would never be a reason to do this list. I am fine with never jumping out of a plane voluntarily as an example. I can have a rewarding life without that. Fear of death is common, and yet it will happen. We just don’t know when or how. So we can consciously avoid some fears, but for others, we just have to allow ourselves to feel the fear.
Not knowing how to do something is often fearful. Everything we do has had to be taught to us. As a child, life is full of firsts, we are in a constant state of learning. As we age, we somehow get to a point that we think we know all we need to know. Then when something new comes along it’s frightening, because we didn’t know we would need to know something, and hadn’t planned for it.
I find, if you challenge yourself to move out of your comfort zone on a regular bases things become slightly less scary. The challenges, are still there to be faced, however I seem to be more able to stay calm and carry on.
You can’t just paste on a big smile, grit your teeth and get through it, not authentically anyway. You might have met the challenge for now, but the fear will take centre stage, when faced with the same demons later on.
We don’t know what we don’t know. One thing is true though, there is far more that we will never know about, than what we draw on as our own personal knowledge base. Be open minded. Like a window that is shut tightly. Nothing can get in, if there is no way to enter.
Ask someone for help, watch how others cope. If this is a life long fear, then acknowledge that. If the fear pattern has been part of the very fibre of your being for decades, don’t expect a quick fix. You can do a band aid repair, or you can deal with building a new ability. It’s always a choice of a quick temporary fix, or a slow and steady change.
Don’t let age be an excuse not to do the work. It’s just an excuse to avoid the situation, in hopes that it will go away. You can’t teach an old dog a new trick, may or may not be true as it pertains to a dog. For people though, the only time we stop learning is when we choose to.