We have all found ourselves in situations where we have either asked for,or granted forgivemess. Let’s forgive and forget is the phrase that comes to mind. Of the two, I find forgiveness the easiest. The person requesting forgiveness is usually genuine when they try to find a way to say how truly sorry they are. That is essential to mean what you say. If it is heartfelt it somehow enables us to build bridges where needed and move on.
The forgetting for me is a different animal altogether, On a daily basis I don’t hold onto every little thing that has ever upset me. That is too exhausting and obviously not a healthy lifestyle choise. That being said ,my dear husband believes that I can instantly recall the content of every argument we have ever had. We don’t argue often but there have been one or two differences of opinion over the years.
It appears to me,that the more we care about the person we have argued with the deeper the wound is. When we don’t particularly care one way or another it appears effortless to let the matter drop. A couple of exceptions to that rule are when our character has been called into question perhaps or we just feel wronged.
As it happens, the forgive and forget scenario is often a key ingredient of emotional hoarding.. Can this be traced back to not actually believing the apology to be genuine I wonder? In our minds, the apology could have been said just so the person could dig themselves out of an uncomfortable situation.
Most of us aren’t psychic so we can’t always gauge a persons true intent. If you aren’t sure perhaps consider this, by holding on,to every he said she said moment, you just might be digging those ground breaking first shovels of a future minefield. Do you want another minefield on your horizon to avoid tripping over?
The bottom line is this. We all have needed forgiveness a time or two, we will need it again guaranteed at some point. We want people to forget about it, so even if your mind can’t totally forget it, over time you do actually let go.