Home Sweet Home

 

 

I begin exploring the boxes of Christmas decorations before me, joyfully rediscovering the treasures collected from Christmases long past. It feels like all the previous Christmases are the foundation, upon which I wait to accept the Christmas yet to be.

In the warmth of the season I take a moment to think about my home. The place where I can BE anything, DO anything , and FEEL anything , with total acceptance. It is my sanctuary. It was only 18 months ago that I would barely ever leave the place. The exception was to go to medical appointments. From time to time meet up with friends. On weekends I would push myself to get groceries, even when it took a lot out of me. Perhaps a small drive, then it was right back home. I timed everything around medications, to get the most out of my outings. It would take the rest of that day and sometimes into the next to recover. Now that I can reflect on my previous reality, it wasn’t truly living. It was a case of comfortably existing.

The journey to feeling better had to begin by stepping out of the comfort of my home, and reclaiming my rightful place in the world beyond my front door. It was not a conscious decision to close myself away. It did however take shear will power and determination to step back outside and let the world know I was still here. Not only that, I was putting the world on notice that I was going to come back stronger than ever, living every minute to its fullest.

Watch out world, here I come…

Every step is simply a case of placing one foot in front of the other. What happens though, when one step takes on a dimension of its own and feels monumental? This one step has far more significance than all the other steps ever had; doesn’t it? This is the moment when one step becomes a true challenge, rather than something we do daily without thought.

If this is your moment, your challenge step, you might find it helps to remember it is just a step. No need to jump the Grand Canyon in a single leap. Baby steps are just as significant. You still get where you want to go. It just takes a little longer. Even the smallest of steps moves us from where we once were. It is a lot safer than canyon jumping could ever be.

If that is overwhelming, may I suggest you find a comfortable spot, and take some time to visualize yourself taking that first step through the door of your ever improving self. Stay with that thought as you explore the sensation of going through that door; perhaps it feels more like a wall. Try to slow down and feel the texture of the door itself, or the sensation of your hand grasping the handle. Go only as far as you feel comfortable. Come back to that thought as often as you need to. It just might over time allow your to move forward.

We are all just on loan to the universe for our lifetime, be it long or short. I can’t get back the years my illness robbed from me. I can only live for this moment and make each one meaningful to me. Wether that is spending time with loved ones, giving back or even just enjoying my home in a quite moment.

If the world beyond, at least for today is too much to take in, allow yourself to make all the moments you can matter. Hug the dog, phone a friend, let someone know you love them or simply sip a wonderful cup of tea or coffee. Experience that warmth going down your throat. Savor the moment my friend.

Welcome To The Pilot Light Initiative

 

Welcome to the very first blog of The Pilot Light Initiative.

Let me begin by explaining how the initiative came to be. I had seriously declining health issues for 12 years. During that time I saw enough medical professionals to last a lifetime. The results were all the same no one was able to make me better. I always thought medical improvements happen all the time. I just needed to be patient. i waited … and waited one day after the next ,week in week out, year after year nothing changed. I only managed to get worse.

There was literally no one else to see. I was going to be the way I was until I died. Maybe I had nothing to loose at that point. I felt invisible while in plain sight . Could it be that I became so talented at not drawing attention to myself that the invisibility was now woven into my very being?

I became very conscious of my breath I was indeed breathing normally my chest rising and falling in perfect rhythm , yet I felt I was gasping on the inside, just trying to hang on. I refer to this as my pilot light moment. Each of us are made up of more than DNA, muscles , bones and tissue. It was the pilot light that keeps my spirit alive that was in danger of being extinguished. I could live another 40 years or more but the sparkle that makes me whole would not be with me.

You might find this hard to relate to, yet even though I was having a serious pilot light issue I was not depressed. I knew I needed all my strength to move forward . I could not allow myself to take extra baggage . Like an economy airline only essential carry on baggage would be allowed.

Call it a leap of faith, momentary madness, or an act of brilliance . in reality it most likely was a combination of all three. I just don’t know in what measure.

I knew I could not stand still a moment longer. rightly or wrongly I was going to move forward and accept whatever came my way. In my case I happened to be blessed to meet a wonderful young man named Harley Preston. His approach to mindful fitness completely changed my life. He was able to achieve what the medical profession could not. There will be more about the journey to better my health and his major role in achieving that in future posts. That being said ,this blog is not intended to provide a platform just to tell my story . You would read it once , and never have the need to come back. The pilot Light Initiative through this blog hopefully will allow people that perhaps are unable to see a possibility of hope , to find their own inner strength to move forward in their own journey through hearing about other people and knowing they are not alone .

We have had many deep discussions Harley and I , on both physical and emotional pain and how it effects the body. I know I am not the only one out there who’s pilot light began to flicker. If you are reading this and have experienced anything even remotely similar I would love to hear from you. Everyones pain is unique to them, no matter what the cause. I would like to think together we can keep the light burning brightly.for … ┬áthat is the very mission of The pilot light initiative .

Maria